fresh start

21 weeks.

147 days.

3,528 hours.

...a lot can happen to a person in this time span. And for me, a lot has...

Some bad.

Some fun.

Some confusing.

Some exciting.

Some frustrating.

Some unexpected.

Some hilarious.

Some painful.

Some new.

Some shocking.

Some easy.

Some uncomfortable.

Some humbling.

Some sweet.

...but all good.

Today (August 16), is the last day of my summer vacation and while all I want to do is recap on what in the world has gone on in my life over the past few weeks, what I really need to do (for the sake of encompassing and closing up this emotional experience I've had over the last 21 weeks) is just declare that I am making a fresh start... I just like the way it sounds and the instant mental image is sends

to my brain of a line full of clean laundry.

Fresh Start...

A clean slate.

A new beginning.

And just like the start of a new school year, the anticipation of what is to come and

what the year will bring, lingers in the back of my mind.

I have a lot on my plate.

Even more so on my heart and mind.

Yet I know that all of what God is doing in me and through me and despite of me is good.

And with that good I rest.

So here's to a clean and exciting and new beginning!

Enjoy this new season and ride with me...

...I have a feeling it's going to be one worth sticking around for ...

the final countdown

11 days till Middle School Camp.

15 days till I leave to Peru.

26 days till I start coaching Cheer again.

...and this is just the beginning!

Lately I have had the song, "Final Countdown" playing in my head on repeat. It's like a sick and twisted yet danceable reminder of the deadlines I have coming up. I have always been busy. Always. However, the past few months something amazingly different has overcome me from the inside out ...let me explain ...

I have found that coveted and happy medium ...I have started to learn the art of balance. While some may laugh at my face for this last statement, I can honestly say that I am learning to inplement more of a balanced feel to my life ...and I love it. While I am no expert on perfect balance to my super hectic life, I have found the secret ...when I stay wrapped up in the Lord's will, I automatically find peace. Peace, tranquility, balance, easy breathing ...its all there in the center of who He is!

I truly believe the Lord has me in a place right now in my life where I am best used and effective with a plate that is full of things that He has placed there. With ministries and school and planning events and discipling and family time and friend time ...I have no time for the idleness and temptation of doing my own will. Rather, I have found that being obedient to what He places before me, brings a fulfillment and joy and motivation to my every day life that I could have never gained on my own ... and trust me, I've tried.

I am moving forward in His plan for me. I am delighting myself in Him and all that He offers. I am trusting Him to guide my very next move. I am relying on the fact that He has every detail of this life mapped out. I am loving others He places along the way in a fresh and new way. I am learning so much about what is truly important and worth it and what is not. I am getting better at saying no. I am practicing putting others and their needs before my own and it feels amazing ... I am falling more and more in love with a God who is beyond good to me.

My life may be full... My load that I have been asked to carry might seem too heavy to others... My ability to keep it all balanced may not be perfected... but I am daily being renewed and challenged and motivated to keep my eyes and heart so close to Him that all of what I have before me seems like nothing in comparison to what He lovingly and so willingly does and has done and promises to continue to do for me. 

 So while my "final countdown" is now in full affect for all of the upcoming things in my life, I am sitting back with a smile on my face, knowing its all so good in my hood because all that I have, all that I need, all I could ever want ... I have found in Him.

Mmmm ...such sweet bliss :)

...Ness

my heavy heart

O God, listen to my cry! Hear my prayer! From the ends of the earth, I cry to you for help when my heart is overwhelmed. Lead me to the towering rock of safety, for you are my safe refuge ...

Psalm 61:1-3 (NLT)

My heart is so heavy right now.

This past summer I got the incredible opportunity to travel to Morocco on a 2 1/2 week mission trip. I met and instantly fell in love with the land, the culture, and especially the people. I got to reunite with old friends who serve there as missionaries and spent time with their little family as my team and I worked to bless them and bring love from home. It was a sweet time. Morocco was a time for the Lord to truly meet me, change me, show me new and exciting things he was preparing me for ...Morocco is the place I fell in love with the Lord again and in some aspects, the place that marks the turning point in my life.

Morocco holds more than this to Eddie and Lynn ...these two amazing people have served the Lord without regard since the first time I met them. They gave up their home, family, friends, and comfort in order to move to a land where the sun is hot, the language is foreign, and the people's hearts are like stone. They walked humbly alongside the Lord, knowing He would sustain, He would provide, He would make it work ...and He did! The Lord had been dynamically working in the Padilla's life and despite struggles and trials, the Lord was being glorified in Eddie and Lynn and their beautiful family. While they were there, they also took a step of faith by agreeing to foster two Moroccan babies. These boys instantly became their family and it was incredible to see the way the Lord was continuing to bless and strengthen this family!

Two days ago I received and email from Eddie and Lynn asking for prayer. Without warning or notice, the Moroccan officials told the missionaries of the facility that the Padilla's work through (like an orphanage, but not) that any non-citizen must return to their national country within the next two days. This clearly devastated the Padilla's and the other missionary families ...Morocco had become their home and for these families, they had other vested interests ...Morocco had become a place that gave them the opportunity to give a child a chance to experience love and the comfort of family.

This morning Eddie, Lynn, Maggie, and Ezra boarded a flight bound for the United States of America. And with broken and heavy hearts they left behind their sons and brothers, Samir and baby Mouassin. I don't know all of the details to this situation, I don't know why God does what He does, I don't know how to completely see the positive in such a seemingly unfair and desperate situation, I don't even know what it would feel like to have to leave behind my babies that were entrusted to me not knowing when or if I will ever see them again ... I don't know. Here's what I do know ...God, in all of His sovereignty and grace and goodness and mercy, loves us. He's for us. He's planned out our very days and sees beyond our present circumstances. God also created us, we're His best work yet, and because of this special connection we have with Him, we can take a deep breath and rest in the fact that He would never do anything to destroy us. God cares for those babies, all of the children that were left behind in Morocco as their adopted parents had to go back to their countries, and has already begun to protect them.

Please join me as we pray for the Padilla's. Pray for God's perfect peace to drown their hearts. Pray for God's overwhelming comfort to captivate their worry-filled thoughts. And finally, pray for the Morrocan people ...more than ever, they need the love of the Lord.

...vanessa

26 ...

26 ...

1. I love the Lord with every fiber of my being and am so honored and humbled that He loved me first
2. I love shoes ...not a normal kind of love, this love goes deep :)
3. I am a teacher, yet I didn't go to school for this ...the Lord has made my calling clear and has expanded my heart in such an incredible way where I cannot see myself doing anything else
4. When I was younger, my dream job was to be the First Lady of the United States of America ...needless to say, it was a sad day when I realized that was not a job I could just apply for :(
5. I have one brother and one sister and they are two of my very best friends ...my world would not be the same without them
6. I am writing a book and plan on publishing it when I turn 30
7. I can't wait to be a grandma ...I'm going to be the best at spoiling my grandbabies
8. I love deeply and without regard
9. My parents are still so in love and have given me an awesome example of a God-centered marriage ... it gives me such an exciting hope for my future
10. I am a total nerd ... I love learning new things
11. I love reality tv ...as lame and silly as it can be, I love it ...don't judge me
12. I ran a marathon last year and went from hating running to respecting it ...we aren't in love yet, but we are finally in like ;)
13. When I was in college, I was a nanny and learned so much about motherhood, grace, patience, and God's love for me ...to this day, I am so thankful for all of the things my mom has done and still does for me and I know that I would rock as a mom
14. My dreams are often choreographed ...picture High School Musical, meets Saved By The Bell, meets West Side Story ...I love going to sleep!
15. I have known and loved my best friend Jess since kindergarten and our relationship gets better and better each year ...she's the jelly to my peanut butter, the salt to my pepper ...I love her more than hazelnut lattes from Coffee Bean, a new pair of shoes, and sneaking in Golden Spoon to the 2 dollar theater! Best doesn't even come close to describing my Friendy :)
16. One of my most favorite smells is old books and whenever I see one I have to smell the inside of it
17. I would like to move to a different state for a while ...preferably somewhere in the east coast ...just for a bit, then come back to California. Hmm, we'll see ...
18. My first concert of my life was Michael Jackson ...I was 7, knew all the moves to his dances, all the words to his songs ...it was love at first moon walk
19. I have such a love and burden and desire to inspire women, especially young women ...the Lord is using this and growing me more in this area of counselling and I can't wait to see what He is going to do in this!
20. I wish I knew how to play an instrument
21. My sister and I have the best and most amazing relationship ...she truly is my very best friend and I don't deserve her. She is calm where I am crazy. Gentle where I am abrasive. Real where I am unrealistic. Loving where I am harsh ...she is my better half and I thank God for her in my life daily.
22. I daydream regularly like its a hobby ...and I like it
23. I coach cheer/dance but don't think I would want my own daughters in these sorts of things
24. I get car sick pretty much every time I am not driving ...not fun!
25. I want to be on the tv show Amazing Race one day ...now to find a teammate! 
26. I used to be afraid of my future, not knowing what to expect or what it would bring; but now, I look forward to it with an eager expectancy to the Lord's beautifully perfect plan

...Today I turned 26. And these are 26 sneak peaks into who I am.

Lord,
thank you for another year of life.
thank you for loving me despite my ugly.
thank you for your providence.
thank you for your plan.
thank you for your faithfulness.
thank you for this beautiful, beautiful life!

delight.

Delight.

"Delight yourself also in the Lord and He shall give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord, trust also in Him and He shall bring it to pass ...Rest in the Lord and wait patiently for Him ..."

Psalm 37:4-5, 7

I love when words make you feel the very thing they define. Delight ...it just makes you feel delightfully pleasant! This same feeling overwhelmed me today as I experienced delight in the sweetly simple that blesses my life and the rich promises from God's word. More and more the Lord has been showing me that in my passionate pursuit after His will and plan for my life comes wonderful blessing.

The more I delight in making Him known and real in my life, the more the Lord pours out His goodness. The more I seek to make my life reflect what would make Him glorified, the more I find joy and reward. He longs to bless His kids, He wants nothing but the best for them and when it comes to gift giving, the Lord is no joke!

So I wait ...patient, committed, obedient, excited, focused, and humbled, as He works to bring out the very things I have desired and dreamed of and hoped for. I know it will be perfect. I know He will make it custom fit for me. I know that I will learn so much from the experience of allowing the Lord to make His way perfect in my life ...and so I wait.

...vanessa

mentor ...

Mentor ...

To invest in. To spend time with. To listen. To talk. To encourage. To pray over. To enlighten. To admonish. To make time for. To carry the burden of. To counsel. To support. To laugh with. To cry with. To give. To learn from. To teach. To cheer on. To remember. To help. To hear.

To LOVE. 

Mentoring is something that the Lord encourages us to do. When we realize the importance of pouring into someone's life and loving them the way Jesus loved us, the concept and idea of taking someone under your wing, so to speak, seems only natural.

I, for one, am honored ...humbled, even, to think that God would consider me faithful. Me... The one person I can think of who veers toward the faithless side of things on a regular basis? Me... The girl who has single-handedly-jacked-up so many perfect and divine plans originated by the Lord because I tend to think my version can somehow trump God?

Yes. Me ... and guess what? He wants to use you too. 

Today God showed me a small, snack-sized, appetizer version of what He has in store for me in regards to mentoring and counseling young women and I can honestly say I am still in awe.  My heart is burdened for young women who need support and direction and love. My heart is filled with so many sweet faces of young women who God has placed in my life and who are seeking to find the very purpose they live for. And for once, my heart is solely consumed with whatever and wherever the Lord has for me in this life of mine. 

I've been through my share. I've had my fill of mistakes, mess-ups, wrong turns, helpless moments, and shame-filled regrets and now I am ready to be completely available to being used in those things for the sake of saving a precious young woman from the same pain. 

I love it. I love that God can still use me. I love that God chooses to use me. I love that He is bigger than my past and has nothing but beauty for my future ...     

...vanessa

what i did on my 49 day vacation

49 days. Has it really been 49 days since I've written anything?! Oh man, this was clearly not how I would've liked to start my blogging career ...but, excuses aside, this has been quite the interesting and ever so exciting past 49 days! Let me take a minute to recap for you ...

-started going to spin class on a more consistant basis (5 am cycling! Aren't you jealous!?)
-dropped my iphone in the toilet (...that I was cleaning as a service/ministry endeavor for our college and career ministry...I was not using the toilet. ew.)
-spoke in middle school chapel and had my own junior high youth pastor in the audience (talk about a little bit of nervous pressure and weirdly cool excitement)
-left for high school winter camp and was blessed beyond belief (that was camp/conference #2 of the month)
-went to the leadership retreat at twin peaks (#3) and fully met with the Lord (definitely had some shed light, revelations, and challenges that weekend ...God's so good!)
-my sis revived my deceased phone, only to have my hopes shattered yet again when it decided to die for reals ...needless to say, once you go mac you never go back ...I had to get another one, and now all is well in my phone world :)
-became the high school cheer coach again at my school and had our interest meeting (um, lets just say that I am super excited to jump back into the program ...the Lord is showing me His perfect faithfulness and perfect way in this experience and I can't wait to see what He brings of this huge new team!)
-had our annual school science fair (that's right, I am a nerd to the core and teach science! I love the science fair, wha?!)
-saw my very best friend check off a huge box on her life to do list as she officially became a registered nurse (...the traditional pinning ceremony made me so emotional and proud that I want to become a nurse now! ...ha, yeah right!)
-saw our college and career ministry (Impact Generation) move from it's long standing Thursday nights to the fresh and new Friday nights and am loving how God is growing this ministry into something dynamic and amazing!
-sent off one of my former girls (cheerleader) to Bible College, found out we are going to be working together as coaches for next year, and realized I could not be any more proud of the work the Lord has done in and through her ...I'm just honored to be in the supporting cast of her great production of life (love you Lena)
-starting a home Bible study at my house for the lovelies of Impact and High School ministries! It's called the "Women of the Word Unveiled" and we are covering the fruit of the spirit. JK, the study will be on the different women of the Bible and the applicable issues they dealt with ... so excited!
-spent the day in San Diego with my sibs and a good friend and realized the sweetness found in fellowship with people who have the same love in their heart for God and how it's so so vital to sit still before Him and allow Him to work everything out for me and my future... such a great day!
-preparing to get all the details of Peru, Middle School Camp, high school ministry events, Impact Generation events, Choreography for choir, and cheer all ready for the big things coming up!


...needless to say, it's been a good and busy and crazy and emotional and fun and challenging 49 days.


God is good.
God is beyond patient and gracious.
God is faithful.
God is providential.
God doesn't keep score.
God is mighty.
God is doing exceedingly abundantly more than I ever expected my life to contain.
God is forgiving.
God is worth it all.
God is so creative.
God is my favorite.

Let's hope I can make it in this blogging business without taking frequent 49 day sabbaticals! Sorry for the long pause on the postings ...to all 2 of you who actually read this ...my sister and brother don't count, I make them read it ;)

Be encouraged, today ...because guess what? Today, God loves you and smiles when He thinks of you.

...vanessa